Embedded Files
From my primary school yearbook, age 12.
My relationship with writing is complicated. The desire to write and illustrate my own children's books came from an early love of reading and a deep admiration for Dr. Seuss. But I don't draw. As I reflect on a lifelong ambition to be published, I'm not sure if it originated in me or my father — himself a largely frustrated writer. There is no doubt I love to write in the right circumstances, and I have some talent for it. I received a master's degree in professional writing at age 21, for which I wrote a truly terrible novel. I hated most of the experience of writing it.
My mom and stepdad pushed me to focus on a practical career and prioritize income. I landed a job as editor of a business newsletter and my marketing career began. In 15 years, I wrote many articles, brochures, proposals and made decent money. But the writing fantasy, much as I tried to squash it, lingered in the background. Sometimes, it's still there, the thought that one day ...
My favorite income-earning job was writing and designing the monthly magazine for The Los Angeles Athletic Club. I loved it for the near complete autonomy I had. My boss was a jock with 3 percent body fat who cared only that I produce Mercury each month with a minimum of typos. Within the parameters of promoting the club and all it had to offer, I had free range to write about whatever interested me, and to design it anyway I pleased. Desktop publishing was pretty new in 1993 when I started on a tiny Mac Classic II, and it was fun to learn and experiment over the 35 issues I created. Being responsible for layout made me a tighter writer. Unneeded words could be cut to delete lines that didn't fit the design. Unlike newsletters and newspapers I'd written for, the magazine printed on glossy paper with eight pages of full color! While I ghost-wrote most of the articles, the selections I include here feature myself or family in connection with the club. You'll find Stepdad Larry with his E-type Jag, Mom Judy losing weight, Husband Ian in ballroom dance class, and Sister Sarah river-rafting. As a side-note, Dad Tom proofread every issue. I challenge you to find a typo.
After retiring from my full-tme job in 2008, I started work on Auntie Marcelle's Guide to Camping in Africa Without Being Eaten by a Lion and Other Useful Tips. I joined the Society for Children's Book Writers & Illustrators, and attended workshops and conventions focused on craft and the inevitable push to publish. What I wanted to write was not what the industry wanted. I had a great deal of fun writing my Africa Guide, but the fun was knocked right out as I underwent critique sessions and rewrites. Ian swears my original version was best. But, in 2020, having finally overcome the drive to publish, I was able to create a revised version for this website, illustrated by cousin Holly Thomas. I hope to write more guides in future using the illustration technique I developed for What's in Your Wheelbarrow, Wilbur (below).
In 2010, a major stroke shifted my focus from publishing to recovery. I had to learn how to stand and balance, much less walk again. Home after a month in rehab, I restructured chores to minimize walking, lifting, and climbing on stepstools. I had to find tools to help me prepare a meal, carry laundry baskets from one end of the house to another. I had to deal with the grief of becoming disabled and my life changing overnight at the relatively young age of 45. I was exhausted much of the time. But the urge to write reemerged. I knew instinctively that writing about my experience and sharing it with others both in and outside of the stroke survivors' community, would help me process what had happened; so I started a blog. I had to develop a new writing process not dependant on speedy two-handed typing capturing a fast-flowing stream from my brain. I grappled with that transition in the blog posts QWERTY Envy and Battling the Dragon.
In 2018, I started to accept the idea that I am not a novelist, having tried multiple times and failed to sustain my interest over the long haul. Looking back at my articles and blog posts, it struck me that short forms seem to be what I feel comfortable with. It occurred to me to try new formats; so I approached dear friend and musician, Joe Read, about giving him lyrics to turn into songs. I enjoyed experimenting with form and rhyme, and especially the miracle of hearing it come back to me set to Joe's music. It helped to restart my creative juices. In total, Joe and I collaborated on six songs, four of which were included on his 2019 album, Community.
Pieces fell into place in a magical way for me to write and illustrate Wilbur. Not only did the completion of this book in October 2024 allow me to reach my lifetime goal, but it taught me so much about my creative process and voice. Read the full story behind the story to see the magic at work. I do not believe a publisher would be interested in Wilbur, but I'm no longer interested in publishing anyway. I have witnessed too many friends ecstatic to publish their first book, only to be deflated by sales numbers and the struggle to follow-up with a second book. The author's obligation to help market through social media and book readings sounds to me like a nightmare. I have been immensely happy to print some copies of Wilbur to hand out to friends and family, and to offer the flipbook version here. The important fact is that the nine months I spent working on Wilbur were joyous. I looked forward to rising each morning and working on it. I have finally reached the point of creating for the sheer pleasure of it.
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